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Writer's pictureSinead Duncan

Hold tight, you're doing great

Motherhood is a bumpy ride. With dizzying highs, frightful lows, utterly mundane moments and remembering awe at the small details.


Motherhood encompasses, and then reflects back to us, so much of what it means to be alive.


It is at once heart-filling, warm, confronting, visceral, challenging and natural. The best reminder of our humanness and our place in the natural world.



A mum holding her baby


Every day we face new challenges, sometimes at a relentless pace. And we no longer live in a society where we can call upon the village, the grandparents, the aunties, uncles and neighbours for guidance and support.


Since becoming a mother, have you noticed how often you turn to Google to search advice for a specific issue? My belief is that we used to hold this wisdom within communities, and share it with the following generation. Now we turn to the internet as our guide through confusing moments.


How many times have you read the advice online to "arrange childcare for a few hours, sot hat you can rest". And upon reading it, has a big part of your psyche scoffed at the sheer (almost)-impossibility of such a task?


If so then here is my counter advice...hold tight, you're doing great.



A baby's hand resting on his mother's shoulder


You are human. You have landed here, in this corner of the earth, with your offspring and your own unique network of support around you. The only issue is that society and culture no longer values childcare, and has made a great job of ensuring everyone continues to work and earn money - perhaps leaving you with less options to ask for support.


You are doing great.


Yes, you likely need a rest. You're likely craving time to make and eat your favourite meal in peace. You probably miss all the hobbies and activities you would do to pass the days pre-children.


But these times will return when the children are older. And in the meantime, you really have got this. Those precious micro-moments that you find to drink a cup of coffee still warm, to eat a cake without your children noticing, to nap when you're helping them to sleep - they add up and they keep you strong.



A woman meditating


You are not failing at any aspect of life simply because you're not able to put meaningful time aside for yourself right now. In fact, you're growing because of it. This is a phase of growth like no other.


And everything you loves to do before (yoga, baths, walks, reading, seeing firends) - they'll wait for you. When your children need you less, they'll welcome you back with a warm embrace.


Hold tight mama, you've got this.







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